WHAT IS TOO SEXY?

My husband is the type of crossdresser who over-sexualizes women.  The way he likes to dress is extremely sexy, over the top!  Shoulda been in Playboy!  Wow!  For me, this is my husband, showing all this to

ANGEL AND MARIA'S BLOG - NOT

**ALERTS** WE NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH THIS BLOG.  JUST A FEW SHORT OPINIONS AND IT'S JUST NOT READING MATERIAL.  THE STORY DOESN'T END WELL SO I AM GOING TO JUST POST MY JOURNEY HERE ON MY BLOG.**  THERE NEVER WAS AN "ANGEL & MARIA", IT WAS ALL AN ILLUSION OF WHAT WAS REAL.

It's been over a year now that I began my blog and in it, I refer to a blog that Angel and I intended on doing together.  Angel and Maria's Tantalizing Tips and Tell-Tale Teachings..... of a Crossdresser and His Wife.  To date, we haven't done a thing on it well,..... now is the time.

Let me give you a little background, just a month after I started my blog here, we were evicted from an apartment we lived in back in Utah.  We strongly believed it was due to my husband's trans* inclinations.  We couldn't really prove it and as of

ACCOMODATING ANGEL

I've been thinking alot about my life with my crossdresser and how it's been for me.  The best terminology I can think of right now is profound.  Life, in and of itself, is profound.  In the beginning, I knew about his crossdressing.  He invited me to participate and play, which I did, joyfully and enthusiastically.  He would crossdress from the gaff, panties, bra, lingerie, garter belt, nylons to a full outfit on the top.  I would do the same, with instruction from him.

COMPROMISE OR CONCEDE?

COMPROMISE or CONCEDE?

As life goes.....it's a give and take thing, isn't it?  NOW,  Add crossdressing.....then.....marraige.

Whoever you are and whatever you do, do we have to compromise (that is, to give up a part of ourselves) to be together or can we be together and have it all?  We can have it all, if we acknowledge each other then.....Concede to the obvious.....Each

DAY IN AND DAY OUT

As time goes on, I start to see just how "stuck" Angel and I have gotten ourselves.  Day in and day out.  Eat,.... Work...., Drink,.... Eat..... Drink.....  Sleep..... WEEKEND!!!  YEAH!

Something fun now, right?  Being a Crossdresser's Wife, you already know it will be fun!  Let's plan something.  Will there be two women or just one?  Two?  OK!  It's been discussed, decided and agreed upon.

HUSBAND OR WIFE

By Maria Harding

I get these mixed messages these days.  I ponder our life together and wonder, where did we go wrong?  More importantly, where did I go wrong?  Is anyone to blame and can this situation be fixed?

He tells me one day he is transgendered and just wants to live however he wants and decide each day if he’s a man or woman.  OK.  I got over that and I can live with that.  What I can’t wrap myself around is how, one minute, I’m with my husband….. the next minute, it’s her.  Please note…I did not say “wife”…..  Let me take a short little detour here and tell you about the terminology “wife”, when referring to Angel.  We always talked about getting married again.  Our first marriage wasn’t anything elaborate.  Just a Judge came to our house, we did vows and had a little cake.  (We had dressed up the night before!) 

As the years passed, we became closer .  I was gaining a deep, personal and intimate portrait of this person I married.  It deepened my love for him and that he would trust me with all these inner thoughts.  We said Angel and myself would, one day, have another wedding ceremony.   We both would wear wedding dresses and re-affirm our vows to each other, this time as the other side.

He has been telling me all these years how Angel would wear white and I would wear black.  I would just laugh but recently, it hit me kinda funny.  Why do I wear black to re-affirm my vows to the person I love?  No, we could both wear whatever the hell colors we want.  After all, isn’t that what this is supposed to be about, finding your true, authentic self.

Back to the ceremony, I got down on one knee and proposed a few months ago to her.  She said yes so, I somewhat started to envision the event.  While looking around for ideas, I found some photos of a wedding and re-posted on Google +.    https://plus.google.com/108645756729229654936/posts/7sP4Rur9y2B    When he saw the photos, he said, “Angel will NEVER marry YOU!”

He says he wants to be remain my husband but when he is she, she says she also wants to remain, not wife.  Just remain.  I get so confused.  I am patient.  I am understanding and compassionate.  When the lines of communication were open and he was telling me what he was thinking and feeling, I also has great empathy and it helped me to be reassured I am loved 100%.  Now, there is no talking.  He won’t tell me what he is thinking so, I can only go by what he’s doing.

I take it as a personal attack sometimes when he comes out in front of people dressed slutty.  He is my partner.  To me, that’s putting it out there.  If you wanna stay married, you don’t put yourself out there as available.  I think I may have just said what I need to get through my head, “He” is my partner.   And, let me tell you, he is struggling.  I keep trying to get him or her to open up and talk to me but they won’t.  Oh my goodness, I just said “they”.  I had told myself I wouldn’t refer to him as “they”. 

For now, he is my Husband.  She is someone that is finding her way and, hell, I don’t know…..  She needs her space to grow?  I am trying to leave her alone and let her find herself. 

So, for now, I will leave it at that.  He is my Husband.  For him (and her) I feel eternally blessed and am truly a better person for having known him.

STRUGGLES WITH MYSELF

Is this internal struggling with me or is there really a thing here that is her?  And you need to know, her is him, my husband.

First - Let me paint a picture for you.  I will call my husband Clark Kent, I will call his femme name Lois Lane and I will just "B", you know, for B!tch.  That will be me.  No, I'll be Catwoman.  ("I am Batman".)   Lois and I are sitting at our kitchen table, it's early in the morning, still dark outside.  I have just made coffee and put our breakfast in the oven.  One of our sons friends comes out and states my son and his fiance are going to bed now so he is going to hang out with us.  I tell Lois, she should change her clothing to something more appropriate, less revealing.  She won't.  She basically says she thinks her attire is fine.  I can see her underwear and the crack of her butt.  I am so hurt.  Hurt.  It's not my feelings that she won't change clothing, its more like, I see she's advertising herself as available to this young man. She's sitting there in lingerie and thinks it's ok.  This is not the Playboy Mansion.

Oh Boy.  Catwoman needs to reel herself in here.  Lois is now squatting in front of the young man, fixing his cell phone charger for him.  Legs slightly spread, frontal view. 

You have to understand Lois.  She likes men to look at her and she has no problem showing them just enough of what they wanna see.  Just that peek.

Nice Ass, yea? .... YEA!

Wait a minute here.....I am JEALOUS!  THIS ISN'T RIGHT!

I'm somewhat in attack mode with her.  I'm starting to verbalize my hurt but it comes out as anger with her that she is "out of line" with me.  I demand she need changes.  She still refuses.  Lois is always telling me she's not inappropriate with her attire, even when she is.  Oh well.

I don't know what to do.  I'm going to go get into a nice warm bath and get warm.  I so want to be with Lois but she is always trying to compete with me for any male attention there is.  And she wants to make sure she is the one that gets picked.  I don't get it.   Why does she want to hurt me?