I have been a scratch paper writer all my life. I always said I'd write a book, "one day". Post-It-Notes, backs of envelopes, the car registration, napkins, and a multitude of assorted three ring binders, multi-colored memo pads, legal size yellow writing pads, store receipts, etc. You get it. We won't talk about my days of discovering I had lost some of the Post-Its or envelopes, let alone pages of the notebooks were missing. (Different Story) Like I would know? Yep. You betcha. You see, my other name is "Mom",
That day is here, now, I cannot allow it to wait any longer.
I have never written a blog nor do I have any idea about the HTML, Labels, HashTags, Videos, YouTube, Photos, Windows Live "SAY WHAT?" What do you mean it's LIVE? I live therefore, I am LIVE? No, no, no, you can't let this go live. Oops, I am live. ALIVE!
So, Stay Tuned. Thank you.,
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
WHAT'S A CATWOMAN TO DO?
Labels:
FRIENDSHIP
Clark decided we would have a division of chores in our house to even things out a bit. Lois doesn't think she has to do any chores. In the list, Clark and Lois are as one. As that should be. I 'm in complete agreement. My problem here is when Lois decides to stick around, she thinks her only chore is to find the shortest shorts, the longest nails, the highest heels and the best seat in the house. Really. The best seat so she doesn't have to walk on those things. She sits back and does her nails, creates small messes wherever she is, leaves the mess and relocates herself to another position in the home. GOSH MAN......She doesn't pick up a single solitary thing. Icing - she drops a little trail of tissues everywhere she's been. OR...if I'm not careful with my mouth...toothpicks! Yesterday was a change up - it was broken glass, everywhere. OUCH - What's a Cat to do?
Now, you know as well as the next person, Cats are very clean animals and they just don't like to leave messes behind, no matter who made it. Catwoman (I) go around picking up all these messes. This leaves no time for my primping of myself (the Cat). I'm getting a bit testy. But most of all, I think what I am missing the most is the testy....cals! Lois can't find them because she has perfected (and seriously contemplating patenting) the tuck. What's a Cat to do?
Now that it's all picked up, I think, oh wait, no.... more, aarrgghh. I was going to do my nails for Sunday. NOT. Clark's (Lois's) nails are done, I think he put on gloves for tonight. Lois's nails are done. We're out of nail glue. What's a Cat to do?
This is for real. (for me anyway). Clark hates me, Lois thinks she's a cat even though I keep telling her she's just a kitten and needs to follow my lead around other Cats. I want to cry. I want to scream. I really just need to know he loves me. I need to know the sexual, animal magnetism is still there for him. I want to know they want me from swinging on the ceiling light (another post will follow about that one :)) down in the irrigation ditch, muddy, slimy, dirty, raw, We Be On EACH OTHER! Some of you know that exact feeling. That rumble that starts, deep down in your loins and works it way ON IT. Yowzer. How could a Cat go wrong? So, I make jokes to try to laugh even though I feel like I am dying inside.
So - I pose this question. If a Cat can't go wrong then, What's A Cat To Do?
Now, you know as well as the next person, Cats are very clean animals and they just don't like to leave messes behind, no matter who made it. Catwoman (I) go around picking up all these messes. This leaves no time for my primping of myself (the Cat). I'm getting a bit testy. But most of all, I think what I am missing the most is the testy....cals! Lois can't find them because she has perfected (and seriously contemplating patenting) the tuck. What's a Cat to do?
Now that it's all picked up, I think, oh wait, no.... more, aarrgghh. I was going to do my nails for Sunday. NOT. Clark's (Lois's) nails are done, I think he put on gloves for tonight. Lois's nails are done. We're out of nail glue. What's a Cat to do?
This is for real. (for me anyway). Clark hates me, Lois thinks she's a cat even though I keep telling her she's just a kitten and needs to follow my lead around other Cats. I want to cry. I want to scream. I really just need to know he loves me. I need to know the sexual, animal magnetism is still there for him. I want to know they want me from swinging on the ceiling light (another post will follow about that one :)) down in the irrigation ditch, muddy, slimy, dirty, raw, We Be On EACH OTHER! Some of you know that exact feeling. That rumble that starts, deep down in your loins and works it way ON IT. Yowzer. How could a Cat go wrong? So, I make jokes to try to laugh even though I feel like I am dying inside.
So - I pose this question. If a Cat can't go wrong then, What's A Cat To Do?
STRUGGLES WITH MYSELF
Labels:
MARRIED LIFE
Is this internal struggling with me or is there really a thing here that is her? And you need to know, her is him, my husband.
First - Let me paint a picture for you. I will call my husband Clark Kent, I will call his femme name Lois Lane and I will just "B", you know, for B!tch. That will be me. No, I'll be Catwoman. ("I am Batman".) Lois and I are sitting at our kitchen table, it's early in the morning, still dark outside. I have just made coffee and put our breakfast in the oven. One of our sons friends comes out and states my son and his fiance are going to bed now so he is going to hang out with us. I tell Lois, she should change her clothing to something more appropriate, less revealing. She won't. She basically says she thinks her attire is fine. I can see her underwear and the crack of her butt. I am so hurt. Hurt. It's not my feelings that she won't change clothing, its more like, I see she's advertising herself as available to this young man. She's sitting there in lingerie and thinks it's ok. This is not the Playboy Mansion.
Oh Boy. Catwoman needs to reel herself in here. Lois is now squatting in front of the young man, fixing his cell phone charger for him. Legs slightly spread, frontal view.
You have to understand Lois. She likes men to look at her and she has no problem showing them just enough of what they wanna see. Just that peek.
Nice Ass, yea? .... YEA!
Wait a minute here.....I am JEALOUS! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!
I'm somewhat in attack mode with her. I'm starting to verbalize my hurt but it comes out as anger with her that she is "out of line" with me. I demand she need changes. She still refuses. Lois is always telling me she's not inappropriate with her attire, even when she is. Oh well.
I don't know what to do. I'm going to go get into a nice warm bath and get warm. I so want to be with Lois but she is always trying to compete with me for any male attention there is. And she wants to make sure she is the one that gets picked. I don't get it. Why does she want to hurt me?
First - Let me paint a picture for you. I will call my husband Clark Kent, I will call his femme name Lois Lane and I will just "B", you know, for B!tch. That will be me. No, I'll be Catwoman. ("I am Batman".) Lois and I are sitting at our kitchen table, it's early in the morning, still dark outside. I have just made coffee and put our breakfast in the oven. One of our sons friends comes out and states my son and his fiance are going to bed now so he is going to hang out with us. I tell Lois, she should change her clothing to something more appropriate, less revealing. She won't. She basically says she thinks her attire is fine. I can see her underwear and the crack of her butt. I am so hurt. Hurt. It's not my feelings that she won't change clothing, its more like, I see she's advertising herself as available to this young man. She's sitting there in lingerie and thinks it's ok. This is not the Playboy Mansion.
Oh Boy. Catwoman needs to reel herself in here. Lois is now squatting in front of the young man, fixing his cell phone charger for him. Legs slightly spread, frontal view.
You have to understand Lois. She likes men to look at her and she has no problem showing them just enough of what they wanna see. Just that peek.
Wait a minute here.....I am JEALOUS! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!
I'm somewhat in attack mode with her. I'm starting to verbalize my hurt but it comes out as anger with her that she is "out of line" with me. I demand she need changes. She still refuses. Lois is always telling me she's not inappropriate with her attire, even when she is. Oh well.
I don't know what to do. I'm going to go get into a nice warm bath and get warm. I so want to be with Lois but she is always trying to compete with me for any male attention there is. And she wants to make sure she is the one that gets picked. I don't get it. Why does she want to hurt me?
THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM
We met. WOW! The electricity sparked and almost ignited the club we were in. The feeling was mutual. I will never forget that feeling. (I can see the sparks igniting in my head). He wasn't dressed en femme however, he was the hottest man I had ever seen. I was soooo wasted though. Bummer! The moment he entered the club, our eyes met. I knew, just knew. I sat in my corner, watching his every move. He proceeded to walk straight to me and his line was, "Can I buy you a drink, young
lady?" In a stumbling, slur I replied, "I'm really, really drunk right now so, you hold that thought. I'm going home to get myself cleaned up and I will be back for YOU so please don't leave, k?"
I stumbled out of the club to my cab and did exactly that. By the time I got back to the club, the coin had flipped. Now, he was toasted. That was ok by me 'cause now, I could take advantage of him and take him home and have my way. I did just that. He stayed three days and nights and we just had our way with my house. hahaha #LoveAtFirstSight
I stumbled out of the club to my cab and did exactly that. By the time I got back to the club, the coin had flipped. Now, he was toasted. That was ok by me 'cause now, I could take advantage of him and take him home and have my way. I did just that. He stayed three days and nights and we just had our way with my house. hahaha #LoveAtFirstSight
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