WHAT'S A CATWOMAN TO DO?

Clark decided we would have a division of chores in our house to even things out a bit.  Lois doesn't think she has to do any chores.  In the list, Clark and Lois are as one.  As that should be.  I 'm in complete agreement.  My problem here is when Lois decides to stick around, she thinks her only chore is to find the shortest shorts, the longest nails, the highest heels and the best seat in the house.  Really.  The best seat so she doesn't have to walk on those things.  She sits back and does her nails, creates small messes wherever she is, leaves the mess and relocates herself to another position in the home.  GOSH MAN......She doesn't pick up a single solitary thing. Icing - she drops a little trail of tissues everywhere she's been.  OR...if I'm not careful with my mouth...toothpicks!  Yesterday was a change up - it was broken glass, everywhere. OUCH - What's a Cat to do? 

Now, you know as well as the next person, Cats are very clean animals and they just don't like to leave messes behind, no matter who made it.  Catwoman (I) go around picking up all these messes.  This leaves no time for my primping of myself (the Cat).  I'm getting a bit testy.  But most of all, I think what I am missing the most is the testy....cals!  Lois can't find them because she has perfected (and seriously contemplating patenting) the tuck.  What's a Cat to do?

Now that it's all picked up, I think, oh wait, no.... more, aarrgghh.  I was going to do my nails for Sunday.   NOT.  Clark's (Lois's) nails are done, I think he put on gloves for tonight.  Lois's nails are done.  We're out of nail glue.  What's a Cat to do?

This is for real.  (for me anyway).  Clark hates me, Lois thinks she's a cat even though I keep telling her she's just a kitten and needs to follow my lead around other Cats.  I want to cry.  I want to scream.  I really just need to know he loves me.  I need to know the sexual, animal magnetism is still there for him.  I want to know they want me from swinging on the ceiling light (another post will follow about that one :)) down in the irrigation ditch, muddy, slimy, dirty, raw, We Be On EACH OTHER!  Some of you know that exact feeling.  That rumble that starts, deep down in your loins and works it way ON IT.  Yowzer.  How could a Cat go wrong?  So, I make jokes to try to laugh even though I feel like I am dying inside. 

So - I pose this question.  If a Cat can't go wrong then, What's A Cat To Do?