THE YARDSTICK

I've always enjoyed cliches.  Whenever I hear one, I ponder the meaning of the words, carefully dissecting each word then, putting them together, forming the phrase.  What, exactly, was the image the speaker or writer wanted to get across to me?  Did it make any sense at all in the context it was used?  Sometimes, yes and sometimes, not at all.

Here's one.  It came to me while I was getting ready for the day this morning.  "What is the measure of a man?"  Hmmmm.  Ok.  By what
yardstick are we gauging this.  Is it something that can be measured?  I really don't want to be the judge, let alone sit on

any jury contemplating that question.  And, do we all have the same yardstick?  Or is it different for each person?  And do I even care?

So..... then the thought hits me, what is the measure of a Woman?
It breaks my heart some days to look in the mirror at myself.
I don't know where in the hell I put the yardstick so I have stopped watching my own actions.  (Measuring, if you will).

  Besides that, the yardstick I used to have, someone must have marked it all up because I can't read the measurements anymore.  It's so old and antiquated.  That's my excuse.
Really, Maria?

  No fu**in' excuses.

What I do know about me is that, I know I have been falling terribly short of any kind of measurement.  I don't think there's a place on that yardstick for me.  Of all the things I know and all the things I've done, being the best woman I can, I have miserably failed myself.  I sit in amazement at my lack of direction.  

I lack the grace, the poise and the confidence of my crossdressing counterparts.  I say alot of things but do I actually do what I say?  I thought I did but when I look upon my husbands struggles, he still struggles.  I'm not making any of it easy for him.  Isn't a wife supposed to support her husband in all his endeavors?  I'm his contradiction.

Then again, isn't a husband supposed to be the foundation, the leader, the head?  My rock.  Is that how it should be?  Then again, why is he not?  Well, damn it!  He is all.  Plus....BONUS😀

If only I had seen my reflection sooner and been more open minded to take instruction, listen to his heart, and mine, maybe then I could have grown beyond the stagnation I find myself in today.  I think I may be frozen in fear.  

For all the crossdressers wives, ..... honey, he is the man you married.  It's his crossdressing that makes him so very special and unique to only you.  Open your minds and your hearts and with due diligence, we will all meet as winners when we cross the finish line.  

Much Love to All, 

Maria.